Career Advice I Would Tell My 25-Year-Old Self
Careers, like life, are both messy and beautiful. Rarely will it be the image of perfection that you imagined when you started. So, if I could go back in time and whisper some wise words of wisdom into the ear of my driven 25-year-old self, what would I say?
WELL, HERE IS MY TOP TEN LIST:
1. Have a plan, evaluate regularly, and most importantly, be open to creating a new one.
Vital to have a plan, but it is also important to remember that there is no straight path to your career. Use the time in your twenties to determine what you like and dislike, what inspires you and what doesn’t bring you joy. Your career is a marathon, not a sprint. Now that I have hit my forties, I have been frequently reminded that I have another twenty years left of my career. I am only halfway! Make sure that what you spend your life doing, brings you joy. It makes a huge difference if you love getting out of bed in the morning! If it doesn’t, then it is OK to make a change. Find your happiness and use your twenties to explore. Never settle, especially for a bad manager, unfair treatment, a horrible workplace situation, or for work that is tearing down your self-worth.
2. Get a mentor, or two.
A great mentor will be priceless for your career. Someone that can be objective, share their experiences, push boundaries, and ask really hard questions. Put in the effort to find one. Some ideas include your network, previous employers, anyone successful that you know and respect, or from a formal program within your organization. Most importantly, make sure that they are not your age or in the same role. Put in the time, it will be well worth it! (Also, don’t forget to pay it forward and be a mentee!)
3. Tread carefully with HR.
When I was young I naively thought HR was on my side. HR is not your friend, they exist to protect the organization and senior leadership. They may claim to be neutral but, in the end, are on the side of the party that is paying them. Think about it objectively. If your number 1 goal is to protect the company from liability, how can you ever be neutral? I have seen many instances where great employees bring clear cases of sexual harassment, unethical behavior, abuse, privacy or discrimination complaints, etc… to HR, only to see their careers diminished, their reputation ruined, and the executives in question, untarnished. Notes from exit interviews are somehow mysteriously lost. Documentation shredded. Whistleblowers made to look incompetent. Complaints thrown aside or documentation mysteriously lost.
The examples are plentiful. The subject of the recent movie, Bombshell, Former “Fox & Friends” anchor Gretchen Carlson was the first to file lawsuit against the late Roger Ailes, Fox News founder and former CEO, which resulted in at least 20 other women coming forward. It was clear that folks at Fox had been covering for him for years. Former Uber engineer, Susan Fowler shared, “her manager propositioned her for sex and HR let the guy off the hook because he was a “high-performer.” (Read her story here)
4. Kindness Matters. Pay it forward.
There is an unspoken rule in business that small acts of kindness and generosity will come back to reward you. I have found that to be true, hundredfold. Small favors like writing a recommendation, calling for a job reference, sharing accolades with their boss, treating them to lunch, taking the time to write a glowing review, or posting a recommendation on LinkedIn, all go a long way to your success. These are key elements to building your network, and I have witnessed that the more you help others out, the more it will come back to help you. You never know when you might need that same support in your own career. So, make it a priority to give recognition, share kindness, and send those thank you notes. Make the effort to connect with people you’ve been introduced to by others. Talk to your colleague’s daughter about her career aspirations. Write that letter of recommendation. All these little acts of kindness are remembered. Your network is often more important than your knowledge.
5. Employees are expendable resources.
Reality check and this one is harsh, you are disposable to the organization that you are employed by. Yes, you are expendable even if you are a rockstar, high performing employee or your manager loves working with you. Most organizations practice at-will employment, meaning that employers are free to terminate employees at any time, without cause. Similarly, you are granted the same right, although the standard protocol is that you provide at least two weeks’ notice. Typically, you sign a document about this on acceptance of your new role, so pay close attention. This document may also grant your employer the ability to “change an employee’s job duties, lower their salary, change their benefits or adjust their paid time off at-will.” The moral of my story, it is not worth working yourself to exhaustion, hurting your health or sacrificing yourself for an organization that doesn’t value you. Remember, you might be let go tomorrow.
6. Money isn’t the measure of success.
Making the most amount of money is not always the most important measure of success. Money definitely does not solve your problems or bring you happiness—that is your job. Choose paths that bring career development, valuable experiences, career lessons, superior mentorship over roles that just bring you larger paychecks and more stress. Too often, we are so driven by the promotion or the paycheck that we lose sight of what really matters. True success is measured by your happiness, health, and well-being, then remember to make it a priority.
7. Failure = learning.
Everyone makes mistakes and it is impossible to get through life without making any. What’s important is to always look at your mistakes as a learning opportunity. It will never fail if you can turn a stressful or awkward situation into a positive learning experience. Inevitably there will be feedback sessions, often called awful things like retrospective or postmortem, but remember to listen with an open mind. Don’t react – especially emotionally. Don’t blame, point fingers, make excuses, get flustered, or be defensive. I received great advice from a colleague and have found it to be invaluable, “I hear your feedback and I will reflect on it.” Then smile, make eye contact, and nod your head. This will confirm that you heard what they said and often leave the conversation with positive energy.
Recognize that people who share criticism without anything constructive is most likely reflecting on their own insecurities. So important to reflect on how much to take to heart. Lastly, send a thank you note. Something simple like, “thank you for feedback this morning. I appreciate your time and honesty and I look forward to improving my…in the future.”
Then most important, let it go, don’t take it personally. Building this habit earlier will help your career significantly. Something that I am still working on to this day! Read my recent blog on embracing failure.
8. Continue to prioritize learning and self-develop for the rest of your career.
Make learning a priority and find the time for it in your daily life. Take the time in your twenties especially to really know your own strengths and weaknesses, and embrace them. Explore your talents and interests. Learn about languages, cultures, read about current events, take time to travel, learn success strategies like speed reading or mind mapping. I highly recommend learning and adopting strategies to cope with anxiety, stress, confrontation, public speaking, etc. Find a friend and do it together. Take a class at your local community college or online. The choices you make now with those extra minutes of your day, in your commute, or while you are eating lunch, will determine your future. Put social media away and get to work!
9. Always say “yes” to a seat at the table.
If you are invited to join the leadership table, then it is important that you show up. It can be anything from a simple executive meeting or a large promotion. Do not waste the opportunity to take your seat, have your voice, or even just be seen as an active part of the group. I have witnessed many miss their chance over the years because they didn’t feel that they could contribute anything to the conversation, or didn’t want to just be an observer. Trust me, it is a lost opportunity. Once there, speak up, be included, and be a respectful participant. It is important to get that face time with leadership within your company.
Caution, make sure that you are not just speaking up to get your voice heard. I have experienced many who say the most ridiculous things in front of their bosses or clients just so that they can say they said something. Don’t waste people’s time if you have nothing important or of value to say, then don’t say it.
10. Ignore people who tell you your dreams are too big.
Only you will know what your dreams are and if they are achievable with both your attributes and hard work. So many things could be happening when you encounter another’s negativity towards your dreams. They may lack imagination or vision. They could be projecting their fears or inability to achieve their own dreams on you. You might be talking with a hard-wired control freak who would never ever take a risk on something risky or they could be feeling competitive and wish to make you feel small and discouraged. Regardless of why they are negative, it is important to remind yourself that it is rarely about you.
Suze Orman shared, “a wise teacher from India shared this insight: The elephant keeps walking as the dogs keep barking. The sad fact is that we all have to navigate our way around the dogs in our career: external critics, competitors, horrible bosses, or colleagues who undermine. Based on my experience, I would advise you to prepare for the yapping to increase along with your success.”
There is so much more to share, so here is a quick list as an extra bonus #11!
Harsh lessons and reminders from the corporate trenches:
- Surprisingly, people and organizations are not always ethical. Be prepared with how to react and conduct yourself in those situations.
- If you are the only person who can do the job, then you are not promotable. Be transparent and share your knowledge.
- Hard work and collaboration will win every time. But know when to work hard and when you need to dial it back.
- Mean girls and gossips still exist and they are often worse in the workplace than they were in 6th grade.
- Burn out is real and killing yourself for work rarely gets the reward worth your sanity or health.
- Never burn bridges when leaving a job, they will always come back to haunt you later in life.
- People say hurtful things, be prepared with what to say in a professional manner.
- They are monitoring you at all times. Yes, measuring your productivity, watching, listening, tracking, getting transcripts of your conference calls, etc… Be mindful.
- Keep alcohol to a minimum at all corporate functions.
- It is always better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
- Make friends with and be nice to everyone. (janitors, shipping teams, admins, and EAs can save you or get you out of many awkward and stressful situations)
- Always get it in writing.
Many of these harsh realities I learned the hard way and some are keen observations from over the years, regardless, I really wish that I had known then in my 20’s. It would have saved me lots of grief, tears and grey hairs!
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